When to Say "I Love You"

You have decided that you have found the perfect woman. That those days of chilling out with the guys are over, and you are ready for the next step — telling her that you love her. But, consider these before you actually do so: What’s the reason? Decide if you really want to say I love you, or if you have an ulterior motive. As Abhijit Ghosh, a media professional says, “Be very clear about what is your reason behind deciding that she’s the one. Are you feeling pressured? Is this just so that your parents get off your back about finding someone? Say those words only when you really mean them.” Escalating a relationship to the love phase for sexual, financial, or other secondary reasons only causes problems down the road. Also, don’t get fooled into believing all the pressure is lifted once “I love you” is on the table from both parties. Escalating a relationship to this phase opens the door to discussing long term commitment and possibly marriage. Be ready for the next steps if you say these words. Is she ready? Find out whether or not your partner is at the same juncture. It can turn into a complete disaster otherwise. Bhaskar Misra, a software engineer still shudders when he remembers, “I was dating my colleague and felt that she is equally interested in me. We never really talked things out and I never thought we needed to do so. But, when I told her that I love her, she said that she thinks of me as another friend. It really made things awkward for us and I finally asked for a transfer to another group.” If your partner is using phrases like, “I am falling for you”, “I have never felt this way”, or “I could spend forever with you”, there is a good chance your `I love you’ will be reciprocated.
Plan it out: The best laid plans have a way of turning awry. So, make sure that you have hit on the best way to communicate the message based on you and your partner’s style. If your partner loves text messages or emails, consider a cyber-expression. If your partner is the spontaneous type, then mix the “I love you” into a fun-filled evening.
Back-up action: Saying “I love you” for the first time will be more meaningful and impactful if you back it up with a few reasons. Women love to know why you are saying that you fell for them and love it when you do so. So, it’s not enough to just say those magic words. According to Rajiv Gupta, a chartered accountant, “After I told my girl-friend that I loved her, her first response was ‘How do you know?’ I reminded her about our first meeting and that I had really liked her feisty spirit that time.” So, do make sure to tell your partner what you love about them.

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