Modern Anniversary Gift Giving

The traditional concept of giving paper or cotton for a first or second anniversary is now a thing of the past. The anniversary gift etiquette has largely changed over time. People have more to spend and gifts define the personal style of the giver. But a gift is a token of love and can transcend traditions and etiquette, if it is truly thoughtful and from the heart.

The tradition of giving paper, cotton and leather on the first three anniversaries was appropriate in times that these materials were essential for running a household. In modern times, the gifts are more appropriate to the needs and desires of a modern household. For instance, the modern first anniversary gift is a clock, the second anniversary gift is china and the third anniversary gift is typically glass or crystal.

Rather than the traditional gifts of flowers or fruits, we mark fourth anniversaries with appliances. Fifth anniversaries are now marked with silverware rather than wood. Traditionally, a chair made of wood or even simply firewood was considered an appropriate gift. In modern times, wood figures or antiques are deemed appropriate as sixth anniversary gifts instead of the traditional iron or candy.

The seventh anniversary gift typically reflects our increasing focus on business in the form of desk sets instead of Wool and copper. For the eighth anniversary, bronze or pottery are out and the trend is for linens and lace that reflect our increased sense of luxury. And leather has taken the place of gifts made from willow for the ninth anniversary.

Jewelry, in the traditional anniversary gifts, did not figure until the 25th anniversary. Now, the 10th anniversary is marked with diamond jewelry. It may not be exorbitantly priced, but the jump to diamonds at the 10th is a reflection on the increase in the divorce rate. Ten years of married life is considered a great accomplishment in today's world.

Generally, modern anniversary gifts are far more expensive than their traditional counterparts. Fashion jewelry is given on the 11th anniversary and pearls, traditionally given on the 30th anniversary, are now given on the twelfth. The 13th anniversary is marked by textiles or furs, the 14th by gold jewelry, and the 15th by watches for him and her.

There is a skip to the 20th anniversary from the 15th as far as gift giving goes, and for the 20th it is platinum. But after that the modern anniversary gifts start to fall back in line a little bit with the more traditional, even though traditionally the 20th was a gift of china. For both 25th anniversaries, the gift is silver, but at the 30th there is some difference: modern is diamond and traditional is pearl. The last variance comes at the 35th. Modern gift giving is jade while traditional was coral.

The rest of the anniversary gift giving etiquette is more or less the same for both modern and traditional: ruby marks the 40th, sapphire the 45th, gold the 50th, emerald the 55th and diamond the 60th.

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