Handling the Toddler and the Tantrums

At the age of two they are just adorable and at the same time an endurance test for your frayed nerves. Reason being they are too energetic and equally difficult to communicate to. But here are some tips to make the terrible twos a little less terrible.

They look like angels just descended from heaven, but don’t get taken in by their innocent looks; they know exactly how to manipulate you to get their way. And, they have mastered the art of throwing a tantrum at the slightest pretext. They know what works for them and will do that at the most appropriate time, which may cause you severe embarrassment or drive you up the wall.

So, the best way to deal with such behavior is to treat them like an older child. If they know how to manipulate you, they aren’t that small, really. Here are some suggestions:

A. you need to be clear about what behaviors you will accept or not accept. Don't take on a battle if it really isn't important.

B. Be clear about your instructions - say what you mean, and mean what you say. Say it once and don't repeat yourself.

C. Once you have done that, then follow it up with action,

D. Another very effective way of getting across something to your two-year-old darling is to use what I call a ‘manners chair’. This is how it works:

Place a small child's chair in a corner, facing into the room. Tell your child it is the ‘manners chair’ to teach manners when the child behaves badly. Whenever your child fails to do as told, just send him to the chair with words to the effect of: "Oh dear, you seem to have lost your good manners again. You had better go and sit in the chair until you find them again."

When the child obeys you and does what you have said, it is evidence enough that he has found his manners. Get busy doing your chores and don’t pay attention to his whining. This will serve a double purpose. You can spend the time catching up with work and he will learn something new.

It is important to keep this little exercise lighthearted lest it weighs heavy on the child’s mind. Try finding their manners for them, for instance. Look for them everywhere and make it into a game. This will prevent any further tantrums and help develop a more positive attitude. It’s good for your nerves too.

Once they have found their manners, you can then tell them to do what they were originally supposed to do, or perhaps they need to apologize (eg to their sister for thumping her!).

The ‘manners chair’ is a positive way of telling your child what is expected of him. More often than not, children disobey instructions when they are not clearly given. Remember, manners are not taught in a day. You have to keep repeating and reinforcing them with awards and punishments. This is a fun way of doing it.

You will need to maintain a fine balance between fun and serious correction of behavior. Don’t let it become too much of a game by giving a lot of attention to find their manners. Watch your child intently and act accordingly. If it is getting serious, bring in the fun; if it’s becoming funny, drive home the purpose of the manners chair.

What is important is that you don't get into yelling mode, and they don't get away with inappropriate behavior. Keep it calm, keep it positive, keep showing that you still love them, but that the behavior is the problem - i.e. the child is not the problem, the problem is simply that she has lost her manners temporarily - once she has found them again, then all will be well again.

If your tiny toddler throws a tantrum in public, what will you do? Obviously, you can’t carry the manners chair everywhere. And, you don’t have to, if you remember the basic rule of saying what you mean and meaning what you say, and follow up with action.

So, how do you time out in public? Three options: 1. Sit them down in the aisle and do a kind of "manners chair" in which no one is going anywhere else until he has found his manners.

2. Take him out and do the ‘manners chair’ in the car. You can stay out and look away while he tries to find his manners. Don’t shout and scream and don’t lose patience. Above all, don’t get into a discussion till the manners have been found.

3. The last resort is to cancel the outing and go home to the manners chair.

Let me assure you that you will not have to do this many times. If you mean business, they will not disobey you. But, if you are not clear, they will go on trying to see how far they can go. For further information read my book. Here is the link:

You will find all this and much more in my book. Here is the link – you can get started today.

Article Source: http://www.christiannotepad.com

Dr. Noel Swanson runs a very interesting website on child behavior, so if you could do with some tips for dealing with your children it might be worth a visit. Also find more parenting articles here.
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